Too much vs. too little

It felt wonderful running yesterday. It was just a 5K, and, yes, according to the race stats, I was 264th out of 285 runners. But I ran faster than I had all year, didn't hurt and enjoyed the experience.

And as it was the "Race for Orangutans," I did get to see two sweet orangs after the run.

I am going into this week unsure what I should do exercise-wise, as the half marathon is on Sunday. Rest, I feel, is the way to go. But that means I really need to watch my calorie intake.

At least I know what I'll be eating.

You see, I made a decision last night as I sat at Saturday night Mass. I had just written a check to donate to Operation Rice Bowl. But as I signed my name, I realized something. The previous check, written just hours prior, was three times the amount I was donating. And it was to the grocery store.

My freezer is now filled to the rim with frozen meals, veggies and other foods. Plenty of food to last me more than 40 days.

A few years ago, I did a little experiment for the newspaper where I decided to live on the food I already had and not buy any more (besides fruit, veggies, bread, milk) until my freezer and cabinet were empty. It was hard, but very fulfilling.

It's time to do that again. And to give the money I'd normally spend on groceries during Lent to Operation Rice Bowl, which helps the poor and hungry both here and abroad.

I've taken on some personal Lenten promises already, but last night's realization and decision gave me more inner peace than "giving up sweets." And while I know you're not supposed to share Lenten sacrifices with others, I thought it could be good to share this one, to maybe help others realize how much they, too, have while others have so little.

There are many reasons I hate that I have become obese again. I truly hate how I look. I hate that I can't run well anymore. I hate that my self-confidence has plummeted. I hate the way old friends look at me like I've disappointed them for failing. But you know what I also hate? That, on the way to becoming this way, I wasted so much food - food that others so desperately need.

Maybe during these 40 days, I'll think about that a little more.