Blah blah blah

One of these days I'm going to have a blog post full of optimism and excitement and good news! I just know it!

But not today.

So, I'm already abandoning my goal of five days of 1-hour workouts this week. I don't want to. But I truly feel like I need to rest my leg completely. Even walking may be putting too much strain on it. I'm going to rest for two days (but keep doing my leg exercises) and hope for the best on Sunday. Even bike riding and cross trainers, in the past, have hurt my shin.

Every Friday, I step on the scale to see where I'm at (I only step on it Fridays and Tuesdays, the weigh-in day). Today just brought me down again. I was back up to 210 and it just makes no sense to me. I have stayed within my allotted Weight Watcher points for nearly four weeks now. I have not eaten one forbidden food. I drink tons of water. I eat my fruits and veggies every day. I eat fiber. I have resisted EIGHT days of temptations at work. And I have gotten in a good amount of exercise (though not too high-intense b/c of my leg). Even take away the exercise and I should be losing something. I want to believe that at some point that scale is going to move, but this is bordering on ridiculous.

I'm facing the prospect of having to walk the 14K in two weeks and perhaps even walk the half marathon in March. That would stink. I'm determined to be healthy enough to run the Cherry Blossom 10-miler in April, but what if this weight won't budge?

I'm not motivated right now. But I will tell you this, and it's something I am so grateful for: I haven't been tempted to eat bad foods lately. Three solid weeks have helped me mentally focus on what I'm eating and why. So, if anything, I'm at least putting good foods into my body.

A big part of me wonders if I'm just sitting too much (which will get even worse when a new book-proofing job arrives tomorrow). There are times my work shift is so bad, so hectic, that I literally don't get out of my seat for six hours or more. That can't be good for me. And those are the hours when I eat most of my food. Perhaps I need to focus on eating half my points before I start my 4 p.m. shift. Right now, it's usually more like a third.

I swear to you that I'm trying to be optimistic and not worry too much. I know that worrying and stressing just produces cortisol -- the stress hormone -- which will make me fatter and fatter.

I really just want to run again soon. Somehow I think that will help me so much.