2013/2003: Week 4

In my quest to re-lose the weight I took off in 2003-2005, I've decided to document each week, comparing life now (first post) with life 10 years ago (second post). My hope is that I can find the momentum that carried me through those two years by looking at what worked for me then.

WEEK 4: 2013 
Beginning Weight: 264.6
Last week's weight: 254.4
This week's weight: 252.6
Week 4's weight loss: 1.8
Total weight loss: 12

I suppose I should celebrate if for no other reason than I've made it a month! For me, that's a big accomplishment, as I've struggled so much this past year to stay on track for even a day at a time. Slowly but surely, old habits are falling away, and I'm getting into a routine. 

This past weekend, I did something that could be considered foolish or brave: I signed up for a half marathon. And I weigh 250 pounds. And during my last half marathon, I weighed 235 and it still just about killed me. BUT having this event on the calendar -- a "destination" race in Delaware in May with a good friend, and a race with no time limit -- is giving me the much-needed kick in the pants to start walking/running again. 

My first day back was Monday and I was out again this morning. Three miles each time, both using the walk/run strategy that I hope will keep me healthy. And since it's been a long time since I've been out there, I am starting off by walking more than running. I do the 3/2 routine: alternating 3 minutes of walking with 2 minutes of running.

I am still fretting about my work schedule and if I'll have time to exercise AND finish the work I have to do this month. I even had a small moment of panic this weekend when I realized how difficult it was going to be. But I made the decision Saturday night to recommit to my strict schedule of sleep/run/work/30-min break/work/sleep. And I decided that the running part would not be the first thing to go when things get tough.

It was funny, then, to read this morning my weight update from 2003, when I wrote, "No matter the work I have facing me at the office, I’ve committed myself, once more, to getting in that daily walk."

2013 Diana is really starting to get in sync with 2003 Diana.

Getting back into an exercise routine has already proved beneficial: During my walk/run this morning, I was thinking about what I was going to wear today. I wanted to look nice. For no reason. 

Taking care of yourself really does translate into better living and a better attitude. 


WEEK 4: 2003 
Beginning Weight: 317
Last week's weight: 303.2
This week's weight: 298.4
Week 4's weight loss: 4.8
Total weight loss: 18.6

Published: 03/04/2003

I am an emotional eater.

My life is filled with the patterns of an emotional eater. No matter the problem – lousy day at work, feeling alone, having trouble with finances – each carries with it the images of the ice cream, the pizza, the chips bleeping across the grocery store scanner.

I stuffed the food in my mouth to numb the rest. I tried to fill the emptiness – and in doing so became the obese woman I am today.

My patterns, my history, my habits have been in the forefront of my mind this week as I’ve struggled through a series of hard events: personal illness, work stress and, most recently, my mother’s hospitalization.

When all is good with the world, eating well and exercising daily is not a problem. But when the stress builds, all of a sudden, I feel a hunger I hadn’t felt before. It’s a hunger that craves the bad stuff. It’s a hunger that screams, “Eat and you’ll feel better. Fill the emptiness with food.”

It was enlightening to feel that hunger last week and know that it was not true hunger – it simply was my body trying to cope with bad news the way it has done for 28 years.I’m happy to say I didn’t give in.

I had to work at it, though. Whenever I felt like giving in and grabbing a slice of cake or fast food, I had to repeat a question to myself: “Then what?” I had to ask myself, after you eat that food you’re craving, when the last crumb is gone, then what? What will you have left? You’ll have nothing to show for that five minutes of bingeing other than regret. Is it worth it?

For people who have never struggled with weight, it may be hard to understand why a person needs to question – and reconsider – every piece of food they pick up. But it’s a battle I must constantly fight. The self-questioning is a part of that. And it has helped me stay on track.

I’m taking it one day at a time.

My mom, thankfully, is out of the hospital. My cold is on its way out. And no matter the work I have facing me at the office, I’ve committed myself, once more, to getting in that daily walk.

This week, I’m happy to report, I lost an additional 4.8 pounds – and I’m a mere 1.6 away from my first goal of 20 pounds.

A few things have helped keep me on track – they’re not golden nuggets by any means, but they’ve helped me:

FROZEN YOGURT: No, not that commercial stuff. Just take some grocery store fat-free yogurt (I’m in love with lemon chiffon) and plop it in the freezer overnight. Let it defrost about 30-40 minutes, and it’s heavenly. Same with frozen grapes. Yum.

HOT TEA: When going out for “coffee” with a friend, I remembered that it wouldn’t be wise to have a double mocha latte (or even a skinny one). So I ordered some caffeine-free hot tea, and it was perfect. Bonus: It was a great way to end a day and is soothing to the stomach.

RAW SPINACH: I’m not much of a salad person (I just don’t have time to chop all that stuff up), but I love filling a bowl with raw baby spinach and tossing it with a tablespoon of low-fat dressing. It’s a great way to get in those veggies.

SUPPORT SYSTEM: I used to be one of those people who thought she didn’t need anyone to help her lose weight – in fact, I hated people bothering me about it. I’ve since learned (from our readers) that surrounding yourself with people who support you and encourage you is golden.

THAT SHIRT/SKIRT THAT DOESN’T FIT: I love trying on clothes now – just to see if they fit a little better. It can be frustrating, yes. But slowly but surely, that outfit’s gonna fit.

A GOOD BOOK: Instead of watching TV to unwind (which may cause unnecessary snacking), I’ve found that going into my bedroom to read is a much better substitute.

INCENTIVES: Each week at the grocery store, I buy myself a bouquet of flowers for my dining room table. When I hit 20 pounds of weight loss, I’m treating myself to a facial. At 30, well, who knows? I’ll find something great to shoot for. It’s so important to reward yourself – and with something other than food.