Hunger

I don't know if it has anything to do with running again or stress or a three-day weekend, but all I want to do is eat. And preferably a cupcake or something sweet. The desire is so strong, it's disturbing my concentration.

I (foolishly) thought I had already (it's only been a month) reached that point where I was immune to cravings of bad food. My preplanned meals were filling me up and I stuck to my schedule of eating them and nothing else. I had no desire to eat what others were eating in front of me. I had crossed over!

Or so I thought.

No, the cravings hit some time earlier this week. I found myself noticeably hungrier after my Monday and Tuesday runs. And yesterday and today, all I could think about is food (and not the kale/carrot combo on the menu for dinner).

Luckily I have fought the urges. Honestly, this meal-delivery service has helped a lot in that regard. Not just because I only eat what they give me and nothing more. But, because it's so costly, I refuse to buy other food -- and I refuse to do anything (like eat a cupcake) that will make that money go to waste.

I know how lucky I am to have this available where I live, and that I have the money to buy it. And I know by doing this, it makes me much less relatable to others in my situation. One of the hardest things about dieting is the buying, preparing, thinking about food. And I've been able to eliminate those hardships.

But if I'm to succeed right now -- at a time in my life where work is all-consuming and me-time is nearly nonexistent -- I know it's something I need to do. I know it's not a permanent solution. I will eventually need to figure out how to eat healthful foods while living a busy life. Why does it have to be so hard?

I am facing two challenges coming up: back-to-back weekends where I'm going out of town and will likely pause the food delivery. My hope is that the patterns I've established this past month will travel with me.