Happy November, everyone!
The start of my 40th year has been really nice. I spent my birthday around some of my favorite people and was gifted with messages of love from precious friends. Typically, I dread getting older, but this year, I embraced the 39 years because it meant I had 39 years' worth of memories and experiences, and I know I would not have met the people I've met if not for all 39 years. Instead of grieving over the friends I no longer hear from, I made it a point to remember the really great birthdays shared with them in the past. I've come to accept that some people are only in our lives for a short time, but that doesn't take away from our time together. And along those lines, I know that this time I'm spending in D.C. is fleeting, so I try to embrace every moment with these friends while I can.
Depression sometimes takes me into such a deep hole that I can't see how blessed I am. So I truly appreciate those times when I'm outside the hole -- when I can look around and see the people who have accompanied me on different parts of my journey and feel the gratitude I have for them.
The start of my 40th year has also been nice because I'm focusing on making it good. Taking it not just one day at a time, but one moment at a time. Trying to make better choices and view situations differently.
I know it was probably a little jolting to see me return to this blog after such a long time -- and after watching my scale go up and up each time I checked in -- and see that I've chosen such a daunting goal. It's hard to explain why I want to do a marathon. But this 2009 blog post sums it up pretty well. I just love running long distances. And I miss being able to run for hours and feel good. It is truly not about the race but about the journey.
The journey would begin with simply getting out the door and enjoying small walks. A month later, maybe adding a minute of running to those walks. Watching myself be able to run a tiny bit more with each 3-miler. Giving myself very modest weight-loss goals (either 1 or 2 pounds a week) and meeting them by eating the proper fuel my body needs. Increasing those distances on weekends, but not by much. And being realistic about my history, asking myself "Are you on track?" as each month passes, and accepting what it means if I am not.
It's a journey I look forward to. I honestly could not care less about the Marine Corps Marathon medal. But, boy, how I can't wait to run throughout this grand city and beyond.