Saturday, October 23, 2010

A little break

Well I made it to Saturday, eating my 1,200 calories all week and ready to not worry so much (but also not go crazy). I haven't lost any more weight, and I blame my leg. My knee still hurts and I'm beginning to worry that it's something more serious. When I get back on Tuesday, I'll reassess my situation, but I'm guessing it will involve 1) a physical therapy appointment and 2) joining the YMCA so I can swim. I've got to get some cardio exercise.

I hope and pray I'll be OK hiking this weekend. I've been so looking forward to this mountain trip and I want to enjoy this beautiful weather. Here's hoping....

On a positive note, my black jeans seem to fit just fine so I have two pair I can wear this weekend.

Pre-vacation weight: 208.

I'll report back on Wednesday....

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

So hungry

So, yeah, I really hurt my leg/knee/shin/ankle this week/weekend. Either I hurt it running after falling on it or I hurt it running on concrete in the race or I hurt it running 7.25 miles on Monday even though it was already hurting.

Now it's busted.

I've iced and elevated and rested and am now using a knee brace for just day-to-day use. But I am so antsy. I want to run. But I know it's not good. Unfortunately, I quit my gym recently b/c it stopped offering classes, so I don't even have other options.

Which means restricting my calories even more. Which means I AM HUNGRY.

Here's how serious I am about trying to be good before my mini vacation coming up this weekend: A friend gave me a nice hearty tub of her homemade macaroni and cheese. I loooove mac and cheese. And it's full of cheese. Last night, I had about an eighth of a cup of it (leaving like 3 more cups in the tub). It was heavenly. But I'm afraid of it. So I'm trying to just have a tiny bit every day.

The scale went back up on Sunday/Monday after a bit of indulgence last weekend, so I'm trying desperately to get it back down. While this weekend will include some hiking (Lord willing and the knee doesn't break), I'm sure it also will include non-diet foods. I must be careful.

I hope and pray I can run in the 10K next weekend. Yes, this is the 10K I hoped to PR in. Now my goal is to simply run it. How my standards have changed...

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Official time

Between the afternoon weigh-in that showed results and the Komen 5K official race times I just found, I think God was really, really, really trying to put a smile on my face yesterday.

No, I didn't do much better in the Komen all of a sudden. My official time was 37:08. But that put my average mile at 11:59. God wanted me to see that "11" and feel better. And oddly enough, it kinda does make me feel better!

P.S. I just logged the race into my running calendar and, surprise: It actually WAS my best time this year. Turns out that 0.1 of the 3.1-mile race threw me off a little. My previous best time (of the year) was a 12:11-minute-mile. I'll be!

Saturday, October 16, 2010

Feeling better after a nap

Oh, today.

I weighed myself and was up 0.2 pound. I ran in the Komen race and finished much later than I'd hoped and expected. I was as blue as a girl can be on a beautiful October morning.

As I laid down for a nap after the race, my left leg began to hurt terribly. But I was too tired to get up and get the ice pack. So I just slept.

One hour later, I got up for work. Leg still hurt. But my mood was a little better.

I decided to step on the scale again, thinking, "Yeah I know I just ran and ate a banana and drank a lot of water but it's later in the day and maybe the early, early weigh-in was off because I had really just gone to bed hours earlier."

Turned out, maybe that thinking had some truth to it. I was down 1.6 pounds from last week's weigh-in.

So, despite the very sore leg, I was a bit happier.

Now, back to the race. I decided to give my Garmin to a friend who has been training super hard and wanted to PR today. I knew she could really use it and I thought it could be cool to try running without a watch.

I ran and ran, keeping what I thought was a great pace. And I never stopped. Not for water, not to walk, not for a second. And that was my big goal. There were moments near the end when I wanted to stop for "just a bit." But I kept at it. I felt good. Felt strong. Was wondering if, maybe, I was running in record time.

Then I saw it.

The damn clock.

37 minutes it read.


I crossed shortly after, somewhere around 37:30 or so, maybe later. I was really, really bummed.

But I had no watch and I accomplished the one goal I could set: running the whole thing. And I was happy to not be hurting during the race.

Now, though, I sit here at work with an ice pack on my leg. There's pain, bad pain, limping pain. All I can do is ice and rest and hope and pray.

(P.S. My friend did AWESOME. And my Garmin is so confused, as it's not accustomed to a 10-minute-mile pace. Maybe one day it will get there again, on my own wrist.)

Friday, October 15, 2010

We shall see

It's been a different week for me. A week devoid of much exercise - but for a reason.

On Tuesday while cleaning, I slipped and fell in my apartment. Fell on my left knee, skinning it pretty bad but also leaving it really sore. On Wednesday and Thursday walking home from work has also brought on some shin pain, mostly, I think, because I've been walking faster (one does that on a dark night at 12:30 a.m.) in not the best shoes.

I've got a 5K tomorrow - one I've been looking forward to for months. I really want to do well, and I've been afraid if I pushed myself this week I'd just injure myself more. So I've rested and iced and massaged. I hope and pray tomorrow's race will be a successful one. But I also really hope and pray it won't be a painful one.

So I've had to limit my calories extra this week without the exercise factored in. I've kept myself to 1200 calories a day all week. Last night I got pretty hungry, but I still survived.

I had a moment of satisfaction yesterday when I dressed for class, wearing a pair of pants I bought at the beginning of the semester. They were starting to feel a little looser, so that was nice. And I did wear a pair of jeans this week, though I may have pushed it too much. They were kinda tight.

The next three weekends hold many food temptations - some of which I already plan on indulging in. So I plan to weigh in on Saturdays for at least the next three weeks. Based on today's scale reading, I don't expect to see much difference from last week, but even if it's 0.2 I'll be happy(ish). I'm looking forward to upping the exercise next week (if the legs are OK, Lord help me), which hopefully will help.

I realize I'm entering the months that have always been hardest for me. Stress and holidays and indulgences. I'm just trying really hard to inch downward on the scale instead of zooming upward.

Monday, October 11, 2010

I like what she says

I just ran across this story and wanted to share it with you.

This woman understands what it takes to lose weight. I love her thinking, how she refuses to let the scale get to her and how she changes things up every now and then.

Great advice.

I woke up very depressed, as I have for the past few days. I don't know what's wrong with me. Very tired all the time, not motivated to go running. Yesterday, I decided to postpone my long run until today. Today, I am struggling to get out there. I'll go - it's my only "to-do" for the entire day - but I wish I was more pumped about it.

As for the weekly weigh-in yesterday, I was at 209.4. So I lost 0.4 from last week. I didn't hit my goal, but at least it went down. I learned my lesson, too. Inhaling a bunch of bread and cheese isn't going to get you closer to your goals.

Not that the lesson was enough to stop me yesterday. I ate too many Weight Watchers ice cream snacks. And I ate a bunch of pretzel rods with peanut butter. I was bummed. And really for no reason. I was able to enjoy the sunshine yesterday and had a girls'-afternoon-out with a good friend. But I felt heavy hearted last night. I just couldn't see beyond the jar of peanut butter.

Today is a new day, with new possibilities. As soon as I can get myself moving, I'll go out to First Landing on this gorgeous day. I'll run. My goal is between 10 and 11 miles, but if I do 7 that's cool, too. (I've decided I will not be doing the half marathon in November but I will do a 10-miler in December.) Then I hope to head to the beach and just sit there and enjoy the day. I must say I am glad the warmer temperatures are back. They make for slower running, but feeling the sun on my shoulders always makes me feel better.

Saturday, October 9, 2010

Woe is me

It's so frustrating, I tell you, to work so hard and see no change. All week, after Monday, I ate under 1,300 calories a day and ran hard and even worked out a fourth day. And I still weigh more than I did last Sunday.

All because of bread and cheese?

I'm frustrated, too, because the weather is getting cooler and I want to bring out the jeans. I own a bunch of jeans of various sizes. None really fit me. Some will zip but I look like a fool in them, as they're super tight.

I also have some occasions coming up where I'll be eating out, and it stresses me to think of putting on more weight. I so wanted to tackle these 20 pounds during the fall semester. And I do admit, I feel better knowing that I haven't succumbed to daily stress eating and run-avoidance. I'm still working really hard. And I know it will take time to see change and if I stop now, I'll never see that change. I just can't help but worry.

I hope I can plug along. I'm starting to see changes in my running and that is a good thing. Gotta think about that.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

A hurtin'

I can't believe it's almost Friday and I haven't written since Monday. It's been a very busy week with class and running and work. I had intended to write during my class's midterm exam today, but the computer wasn't working.

So here I am, trying to stay awake and finding that typing is helping. (Forgive me, though, for the poor writing; I'll be lucky if I can spell correctly tonight.)

I'll begin with Monday, because it was the source of my big frustration of the week. Remember how I didn't eat outside the diet box on Sunday? Well, I did on Monday. I ate baked tortilla chips and salsa and a bunch of cheese and bread. That's about all I ate, but I ate a lot of it.

I purposely didn't weigh myself Tuesday.

But I did on Wednesday.

Up three pounds.

Really? Really?

So I was bummed I did such a stupid thing. I know I didn't eat 9,000 calories worth of chips and cheese. But my body apparently just sucks up carbs and won't let go.

I ran on Tuesday before class and felt really good, really fast, only to find out my time was about two minutes worse than last week's 3-miler. Bummed again.

On Wednesday at work, a co-worker brought me an iced coffee as a thank-you gift. I don't usually drink coffee. But it was yummy, only 80 calories, and I was tired. So I drank it all.

Needless to say, last night, as I tried to sleep, I was WIDE AWAKE. I could not sleep for hours. When my alarm went off at 7, I hit snooze a bunch and was about to cancel my before-class run and sleep instead. But I feared oversleeping and missing the midterm. So I got up. And I ran.

The first mile was slower, again, than I thought I felt. But I must've been angry at that, because the second mile was the fastest I've run in a year. Then the third was pretty good, and my overall time showed a huge improvement. It was the best pace and the best three-miler since Oct. 17, 2009. I was very, very happy.

Of course now at work, I'm a hurtin'. I knew after my run that I needed to stretch extra and ice just in case. Whenever I run faster, I end up injuring myself. So I stretched and stretched and iced before and after class.

I'm not in pain, thankfully. But I am hurtin'. It's the good kind -- the muscle soreness that lets you know you worked extra hard.

Feels good.

Monday, October 4, 2010

Funny Aside Part II

It's 7 a.m. Monday and I'm REALLY hungry.

Yeah, stupid move on Sunday. Now I have no extra calories to eat today!

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Funny aside

I did not eat the brownie.

I did eat 1,300 calories.

I burned 1,200 calories running. says that if I every day was like today, I could lose nearly 20 pounds in 5 weeks. Ha! Ha! (Yeah, I'm not running 10 miles every day.)


Last night at work, I had an incredible craving for tacos and chips and salsa. On my walk home, I passed restaurant after restaurant, wishing I could just go in and eat my cravings. Instead of caving, I told myself this: Just get through tonight. Tomorrow after your long run, you can have your tacos and chips and salsa.

My weigh-in was in the morning, too, and I didn't want to blow it. After the weigh-in, well, that would be OK. I have decided Sundays would be my days to eat outside the diet box.

Weigh-in was good. I met my 2-pound goal and actually got 0.2 below, officially bringing me back below 210. Seeing 209 made me feel good. Funny, huh?

I spent most of the morning procrastinating, not wanting to go outside for my run. It had been raining all morning, steady.

My calf is still super tight (so bad I limped after getting out of bed) so I took my friend's advice and massaged away. I massaged for so long (the knots would not go away) that my hands hurt.

Then I went running.

While stretching, with the rain pouring down and the wind blowing, I almost turned around and went home. But I kept going. Half a mile in, already soaked to the bone, I almost turned around and went home. But I kept going. I was pretty certain I was going to cut the scheduled mileage (10) down to maybe 6 or 7. But, well, I got to 10. It took me 2:26 hours. I was beyond soaked and cold. But I was pretty proud of myself.

By the time I got home and showered I decided I wasn't really in the mood for tacos and chips and salsa.

There's a chance I'll have that brownie that's in my freezer tonight, but only if I need to meet my minimum calorie goal. See, that's one problem with procrastinating with the long run. I waited so long, by the time I got home and showered it was 3 p.m. and I had only consumed 200 calories. No wonder I was so tired.

Believe me, I know that wasn't smart.

But I'm proud I was able to get past the craving and proud I didn't let the rain stop me from completing my 10-miler.

(P.S. One reason I was out there in the rain: You're never guaranteed a clear, sunny day for your race. My old coach used to say you want to train in all kinds of weather because THAT kind of weather could be the backdrop of your next race. And believe me, I've had many races in downpours.)

Friday, October 1, 2010

Getting there

I woke up feeling pretty blue, with a lot of stuff on my mind that made my life seem out of control and weighing me down.

But I had a date with a friend for a 9:30 a.m. run, and it turned out to be just what I needed.

My right calf has been super, super tight since yesterday. Like so tight it hurts when I stand up. I decided to spend a lot of time stretching, and then we walked the first 1.4 miles together to loosen up. Still, when I set out to run, it was still tight. So I took it slow.

The calf is still tight and I hope I didn't do any damage to my legs today but the run turned out to be great. I definitely improved my time. Of course, the weather was delightful and I'm sure that helped a lot.

I love seeing progress.

The scale is still showing little progress and I know I'm just driving myself crazy by stepping on the darn thing every day. I just keep waiting for that day when it drops. Keep hoping it's today. It's never today.

I've been doing great with the eating, though right now in my apartment, I have two things that could set me up for a downfall. One: A co-worker gave me this huge box of M&Ms as a thank-you gift. The good thing is it's so pretty (there are 12 different colors of M&Ms in little boxes) that I'd hate to eat it and ruin the effect. Hopefully that will keep me out of the box. Then today, a friend gave me two homemade brownies. I have wrapped them up and put them in the back of the freezer where I will hopefully forget about them (ha!).

I was happy to run today because I have this "thing" about running on the first day of the month. Whenever I do, the month ends up being a good one for running. It's all mental. But I hope this means October will be as successful as September was.

Here's to a good month!