Reason #596 why the scale should be tossed

Because after almost having an anxiety attack this weekend as I obsessed about what the scale might read, I finally stepped on it.

Then, as obsessions go, I stepped on it again today.

From yesterday morning to this morning - and in between running 7 miles and eating a diet full of veggies and fruit and under 1,200 calories - I gained a pound.

Scales are evil.

The scale obsession

It's sad how women are obsessed with the scale. We step on it daily, and our mood is based on the number that appears. Nevermind the extra salt we ate the night before or the extra water we're holding on to. If the number is bigger than the day before, we take it as a sign of failure. Or an excuse to kick the scale and dive into a box of chocolates. "The scale said I'm fat, so I might as well enjoy it."

The Daily Weigh-In has its benefits: It can help keep us on track. But, for me, the obsession with the scale translates into something else: stress. And stress is no good for people trying to lose weight. Ever hear of the stress hormone cortisol? It latches on to your stomach and will make the weight-loss effort twice as hard.

So I decided to try something: I decided to only weigh myself once a month. Yeah, you heard that right. Last time I weighed in was the beginning of March and I don't plan to step on the scale again until next Friday, April 1.

Of course, being me, now I'm afraid it will cause me even more stress. Because now I have a number I want to see, and what if it's unrealistic? I don't know if it's unrealistic because I don't know what the past few weeks have translated into weight-wise. I've been very good in my eating, not even using the half marathon as an excuse to eat poorly. And I gave up all sweets for Lent. And with the exception of my weeklong taper before the race, I'm working out hard. But I've done all that before and haven't seen results. And my clothes feel no different.

I came very close to stepping on the scale yesterday morning. Just to give myself perspective for next week. But my immediate fear was that I'd see a bad number and blow my last weekend before the weigh-in. That's what the past two months have been like: Do good most of January, drop big pounds, eat bad the last weekend, gain most of it back. Eat good most of February, drop big pounds, eat bad the last weekend, gain most of it back. I don't want to do that in March.

So I'm going to wait.

And hope I don't end up kicking the scale into oblivion.

Teensy tiny sign of progress

I'm not sure how wise it was to do a two-hour workout two days after the half marathon, but my thinking was that I needed to stretch these tired, tight muscles. I'm glad I went; I am just in desperate need of a long nap now.

The good news is that, for the first time, I noticed a tiny sign of progress in PowerCut class today. I still can't do those scissor ab exercises for the life of me, but during a few of the exercises, I found myself being able to hold on a little longer. Not much. But a little.

Felt pretty good.

This one goes out to the one(s) I love

On Sunday morning, I ran the Shamrock Half Marathon with 42 good friends and family members.

"What?" you might be thinking. "I didn't know you were running with others. I thought it was a solo event for you."

It could have been. But this race was different. Though I lined up at the race start alone - a fierce cold wind whipping through the corral and threatening to blow off everyone's ball caps, shamrock headbands and tall green hats; feeling sick to my stomach as I worried about my less-than-great training, my clothing choices, my history of injury and my rumbling, sickly tummy - I would soon be accompanied by childhood friends, pals from college, co-workers, relatives, even my deceased grandma and grandpa.

It just took a press of my iPod's "play" button.

Mile 0-1
The first song was "Ready to Run," recommended by my friend and co-worker Lauren K. She's the kind of friend who will read my blog post about being lonely at church and by the next Sunday will be sitting beside me at Mass, offering a hug during the sign of peace. Now - despite a self-proclaimed hatred of running - she was with me in those first steps of the race.

"So Magical"

"The Entertainer"

The idea, which I came up with the night before the race, was to have friends recommend songs I could run to, and I'd think of them as their tune played. I put a bunch of other favorite running songs in between the recommendations. But just a mile into the race, I decided to think of other people, too, based on whatever song came up. It was the best idea I've ever had.

Mile 1-2
"Breathless," recommended by childhood friend Meghan D. She feared it would be a tacky choice - as, you know, I kinda NEED breath during this run - but it was a great rhythm to run to. During this 3:26-minute song, I thought of our days singing together in middle school, wearing those tacky red taffeta dresses in Triple Trio.

"Keep On, Keep On," dedicated to my future marathon. It's one of those trippy songs from "The Brady Bunch," and I have trained many miles with it as I worked toward a yet-to-be-completed marathon. I thought of those hard days. I thought of that future date when I could run to it and the phrase "You can hear the music coming 26 miles away, woo! yeah! woo!" would really mean something.

"Survivor." I thought of my mom, all she's been through and all she's done for me. And because of the phrase "Cause my momma taught me better than that."

"Sexy B--tch," recommended by childhood friend Heather H. A fun song I had never heard before that kept me moving.

Mile 2-3
"The Christians and the Pagans." I thought of dear friend Brianne W. When I first moved to Virginia Beach in 2005, I felt separated from most of my co-workers because I lived farther away (most of them lived in Norfolk). But Brianne would drive out to my place often. We'd chat and chat. She introduced me to this song and I remember her playing it on Christmas Day when she was hospitalized. She's so strong, so kind, and while I don't see her much since she moved away, she ran with me during this song as I thought about all she has done for me.

"Before He Cheats." A nice country tune for a nice country boy, Terry P. He's not the cheating type, but I thought of him during this tune because I didn't have any Randy Travis on my playlist. I thought of my decade of friendship with Terry, our mountain trips, our church visits, his priceless friendship.

"Lose Yourself," recommended by high school friend Susan C. and a favorite running song of mine. I thought of those high school days at White Oak and our circle of friends.

"Beat It." I can still picture myself outside during Stephanie P.'s wedding, hearing Michael Jackson tunes come on and taking off inside to dance. So this song reminded me of her. And, seriously, I almost cried. I miss Stephanie. She moved two years ago, but prior to that, we'd go for short runs in our neighborhood. So it wasn't hard for me to picture her running with me now. "Come on, Diana," she said in my ear.

Mile 3-4
"Born to Run." In a few minutes, Greg R. would be getting ready to run his umpteenth marathon. Of course I thought of him during this song, telling me as we rode to the Shamrock how I'd do just fine, not to worry, to have fun. If anyone was born to run, it's him. Hours later, I would find out that Greg's marathon time of 3:06 not only qualified him for the Boston Marathon, but was three minutes faster than MY half.

"Ain't Nothin' Gonna Break My Stride," recommended by good friend Michael L. As Michael has begun taking up running lately and really loves a good game of tennis, I could easily picture him trotting next to me. I thought of how we met at The Star-News many moons ago, how he bought me a serenity candle when I was particularly stressed one day, how I went to his wedding, how he often calls me up to quote "The Princess Bride."

"The Impossible Dream." Oh, this was a tough 3:53 minutes for me. Not physically but emotionally as I thought of my late grandparents. During all 13.1 miles, I grabbed tight to a green knitted bracelet, a remnant of my grandma's handiwork that I squirreled away during a visit when she was still alive. During all 13.1 miles, I thought of her and prayed to her for strength during the miles. But during this song in particular, I thought of her and my grandpa traveling from Italy with their large family to make a better life for them. Grandma and Grandpa didn't run with me (I just couldn't picture it) but I could see them sitting side-by-side on their orange floral couch and saying in their thick Italian accents, "Hello Diana." I cried.

Mile 4-5
"Shattered (Turn the Car Around)." This song will forever remind me of spin class at the YMCA, as my instructor used to play it a lot back in the day. So it was during this song that I thought of my current spin buddies Colleen M. and John R. During this mile, the race had us running up a gradual hill on Shore Drive. So I put Colleen and John to work, picturing John pulling me up the hill with a rope and Colleen pushing me from behind. They've been a huge support system in my life and wonderful friends, so picturing them doing this was easy. I'm so lucky to have them in my life.

"Church Rulez." Oh Roselee P., my dear, dear friend. I thought of her during this song because it's one we've shared before as fellow Catholics. She's been with me through everything, and I thought of all the moments we've shared over the past 15 years. Roselee knows how much I wanted to do a marathon but also knows how much the training hurt my body. So during this song, I thought of her reminding me to listen to my body, don't push it, be careful. I promised her I would.

"Bad Romance," recommended by friend and former co-worker Becky L., who has been so supportive of me over the past few months via Facebook. Who knew this Gaga song would be such a great running song?

"Avenue Q theme/What Do You Do..." Well, of course I thought of my sister, and by extension, my brother-in-law. Every time I hear an "Avenue Q" song while I'm running, I think of her singing solely to me and she gets me through the rough patches. My sister and brother-in-law are the most supportive, loving people and are my biggest cheerleaders. So I pictured them holding signs and cheering (sans puppets).

Mile 5-6
"Man of La Mancha," dedicated to friend and former co-worker Amy H. I also pictured her crooning Irish ditties to me, with her dog Dugan.

"Extraordinary." Great song, inspiring and during my race dedicated to friend and former co-worker Sherry J. Sherry has done amazing things this past year, transforming her body and her spirit and inspiring everyone around her. I thought of her struggles, past and present, and told her as we ran together how extraordinary she is every day. She ran with me for those 3:25 minutes and I saw her surge ahead and knew she'd be just fine in her continued journey.

"Walking on Sunshine," recommended by Katrina M. Oh, this was a fun one. During the song, Kat linked her arm in one of mine and her husband, Jamie, took the other and we ran arm-in-arm like school kids as the song happily played along. Kat and Jamie have always been insanely supportive in my weight-loss journey and I'll never forget their kindness and support.

"It's Your Life." This song is an anthem to those who want to take control over their lives. It reminded me of my good friend Jana C. and all she has done for me since the day my weight-loss journey began. I thought about the day she came over to help me choose what to wear to my high school reunion, when I had lost the first 30 or so pounds. How she told me she was pregnant and the day I held her son when he was born. I thought about saying goodbye to her when I moved and the many trips she took to see me since then. How, when I was training for my first half marathon, she sent me inspiring letters in the mail. And called the front desk of the hotel I was staying at in Alaska to wish me good luck before that first race. And while we don't see each other much these days, I realized as she ran with me how very lucky I am to have her as a friend.

Mile 6-7
"Eye of the Tiger," dedicated to a most awesome runner and friend, Lori K. We talked about running a half marathon together later this year, but that might not be possible now. Luckily, we had this time together, and I enjoyed every step, thinking of this amazing person, what a true hero she is to me and what a true hero she'll be to her baby.

"This One's For the Girls." I immediately thought of great friend and co-worker Laurie V., who had left me a message the night before to wish me good luck in the race, even though she wasn't sure I was signed up. She's always supported me and my running, even coming out to my first Shamrock ages ago to cheer me on in cold weather. She's the kind of friend who naturally planned - without being asked - to come to the Marine Corps Marathon to cheer me on, even though she was quite pregnant. She's an awesome mother, an awesome friend and one of those runners who can whip me in a race without even training. But this time, she ran side-by-side with me.

"I Feel Fantastic," dedicated to good friend and co-worker Brian C., who introduced me to this song on a recent trip. He's one of the best people I know.

"How Far We've Come." I thought of friend and former co-worker Sherry R. who walked with me daily this summer on a visit to Norfolk. When we were having dinner one night, this song was playing in the background. I kicked it up a little during this mile, just for her.

Around this point, I had to start skipping over songs from my playlist because I was actually running faster than I had expected and wanted to stay on track with the recommended songs.

Mile 7-8
"Livin' on a Prayer," dedicated to college friend Jodi D., who is the kind of friend who lights up a room with her inside and outside beauty. I thought of the days we hung out in Manly Dorm, her incredible kindness, corny jokes, beautiful heart.

"Afternoon Delight," recommended by college friend Duane W. I laughed and laughed as this song played and remembered laughing much with Duane during my last year at UNC. I remembered feeling very alone living on my own after I graduated and receiving letters in the mail from him, which always brightened my day. He is a great runner, and it was great to finally run with him.

"You Know My Name," recommended by college friend Mark B. As the song is from a Bond movie, Mark said he always imagined being chased or chasing someone as it played during a run. I was feeling a little tuckered at this point so I wasn't about to chase anyone. But I did run, just for Mark, who was behind me, supporting me. He's always been the most wonderful friend: From our days working at Kerr Drugs, to midnight Mass on Christmas Eve and breakfasts at the Waffle House, to meeting his beautiful future wife to holding his baby daughter, I thought of this awesome guy. I also thought of his awesome family and the hilarious stories his wife posts about their children on Facebook.

"All I Need." I thought of Lori again and the time we sat in my living room singing this Jack Wagner classic and bonding over "General Hospital" memories.

Mile 8-9
"Super Hero," dedicated to my super hero, wonder woman Rosemary T.

"Not Afraid," recommended by high school friend Amber J. I had never heard this song before, though I'd read about it. I loved it and can't wait to run to it again. Throughout the lyrics, I thought of Amber's amazing, inspiring journey, and I thought of my own and how I need to press on, no matter the stumbling blocks.

"Schadenfreude," dedicated to the hilarious Pilot night desk. I truly can't imagine working with a better group of people.

"Viaje Infinito," dedicated to fabulous runner and friend Megan R. During a particularly good run last year in D.C., this song played and I remember rocking those "four minutes." Well, Megan lives in D.C., so, hence, I thought of her, and she was my running partner during this part of the race. It was like the old days, when we ran together back in North Carolina. She's ultra speedy now, so it was great to run with her for "four minutes."

Mile 9-10
"Glow in the Dark," recommended by high school friend Brian G. I pictured his big smile, his beautiful wife, his kids, whom I've never met but can imagine to be little versions of him. I thought of our days at White Oak. I remembered posing with him at a park for our yearbook's "Best All Around" photo. It was quite an honor to be named that with a true best-all-around: a handsome, hilarious, smart, athletic guy. One of his e-mail addresses contains the word "blacktoe," so I also pictured him telling me during the run "Hey, I know a thing about black toes! Move faster!"

"Hey Julie," dedicated, of course, to good friend Julie VK. I always think of Julie during this song. She's the most amazing athlete I know. "I'd never make it through without you around, no I'd never make it through without you around."

"Against the Wind," in honor of a great supporter, Betsy. I love, love running to this song. It's when I most relax during a run and just enjoy being out there. I thought of Betsy, whom I have never met but has supported me ever since my weight-loss journey began in 2003. She still reads my blog and is always, always there to encourage me. I don't know how she does it - she just never gives up on me.

Mile 10-11
"Born this Way," recommended by running buddy and great friend Laura M. She's my constant: a fabulous friend, a steady running partner, a support system. She's the kind of friend who, when I was worried that my appendix was causing my side pain, said she'd keep her phone on all night in case I needed to go to the ER. She ran with me, again, during this song and didn't even mind when I had to stop for a walk break.

"Beat It," a repeat for Stephanie again.

"Dirty Little Secret," dedicated to runner and friend J.J. E. I don't know of any "dirty" little secrets of J.J.'s, but he had been holding a pretty big one back for awhile, so I suppose that's what made me think of him! I thought of what a great dad he's going to be, because he's already a wonderful partner and friend.


Mile 11-12
"You're Only Human (Second Wind)," recommended by high school friend Becki L. I can only say, Thanks Twin! Becki knows what a big Billy Joel fan I am, which is why she recommended this song. But I had never even thought of it as a running tune. It turned out to be just what I needed around mile 11 when I certainly needed a second wind! As Becki ran with me, I thought of our fun high school days and her unending support.

"No More Drama," recommended by friend and former co-worker Deirdre M. Wow, another great song for running I had never heard before. I particularly liked the "no more pain" part. I thought about my very first job out of college, when I felt like everyone around hated me. Except Deirdre. She took me under her wing and was a friend when I needed one most. She got me through some rough times.

"F--K You." This one was dedicated to The Race and how I expected to feel about it around mile 12.


Mile 12-13.1
"It's the End of the World As We Know It." I really didn't think of anyone, just that I didn't think I could take one more step and that it just might be the end of the world as I knew it.

"The Ecstasy of Gold," recommended by friend and former co-worker Nafari V. I thought of her incredible kindness and her running accomplishments. And Pittsburgh.

"What Are You Waiting For," recommended by friend and co-worker Barbie D. I love Barbie, a fabulous friend and talented designer, but I have to admit that at this point, with the finish line taunting me, I couldn't think of anything other than Just Keep Going. It was at this point, when I almost stopped, that a man on the sidelines read my name on my race bib and said (incredibly convincing) "Diana, I am SO proud of you." What was I waiting for? I kept running.

"Dirty Diana." Funny. The last song was supposed to be "What Are You Waiting For," and I threw "Dirty Diana" on afterward just to have some extras. I didn't realize how significant it would be to have this song be the last one playing as I approached the finish line. Scratch that. As WE approached the finish line.

Because, you see - and this wasn't planned - as the last song came on and I saw the King Neptune statue signifying the end of the race, everyone gathered around me and we all ran down the Boardwalk. Lauren and Meghan and Mom and Heather and Brianne and Terry and Susan and Stephanie and Greg and Michael and Grandma and Grandpa and Colleen and John and Roselee and Becky and Stephanie and Craig and Amy and Sherry and Katrina and Jamie and Jana and Lori and Laurie and Brian and Sherry and Jodi and Duane and Mark and Rose and Amber and Megan and Brian and Julie and Betsy and Laura and J.J. and Becki and Deirdre and Nafari and Barbie. And it was at this point that I got choked up to the point where my chest heaved and my face squinted and I cried. I was so thankful at that moment. I was surrounded by so much love and I realized that I HAVE been surrounded by so much love during this whole journey. It was amazing to finish that race feeling so blessed, so loved.

Postscript: My time of 3:09 was not my worst half marathon performance (that was 3:20)! I beat the time I was shooting for (3:15), didn't hurt in any way, and while my stomach continued to hurt post-race, I will rank this race high in terms of feeling good. All because of my new running buddies.

Pictures worth a thousand doughnuts

I received a horrible, horrible surprise in my inbox the other day: photos from last week's race.

They were horrid. I'm talking "oh-my-God-that-can't-be-me" horrid. I take photos of myself every month, hoping to see my weight-loss, so I AM forcing myself to look at what I've become. But these photos were 10 times worse. I used to say I was shaped like a snowman, but now apparently I'm just shaped like a snowball. A snowball with a potato-shaped head plopped on top.

Incentive to work harder? I hope. Incentive to at least SMILE when I'm running? Better believe it.

Too much vs. too little

It felt wonderful running yesterday. It was just a 5K, and, yes, according to the race stats, I was 264th out of 285 runners. But I ran faster than I had all year, didn't hurt and enjoyed the experience.

And as it was the "Race for Orangutans," I did get to see two sweet orangs after the run.

I am going into this week unsure what I should do exercise-wise, as the half marathon is on Sunday. Rest, I feel, is the way to go. But that means I really need to watch my calorie intake.

At least I know what I'll be eating.

You see, I made a decision last night as I sat at Saturday night Mass. I had just written a check to donate to Operation Rice Bowl. But as I signed my name, I realized something. The previous check, written just hours prior, was three times the amount I was donating. And it was to the grocery store.

My freezer is now filled to the rim with frozen meals, veggies and other foods. Plenty of food to last me more than 40 days.

A few years ago, I did a little experiment for the newspaper where I decided to live on the food I already had and not buy any more (besides fruit, veggies, bread, milk) until my freezer and cabinet were empty. It was hard, but very fulfilling.

It's time to do that again. And to give the money I'd normally spend on groceries during Lent to Operation Rice Bowl, which helps the poor and hungry both here and abroad.

I've taken on some personal Lenten promises already, but last night's realization and decision gave me more inner peace than "giving up sweets." And while I know you're not supposed to share Lenten sacrifices with others, I thought it could be good to share this one, to maybe help others realize how much they, too, have while others have so little.

There are many reasons I hate that I have become obese again. I truly hate how I look. I hate that I can't run well anymore. I hate that my self-confidence has plummeted. I hate the way old friends look at me like I've disappointed them for failing. But you know what I also hate? That, on the way to becoming this way, I wasted so much food - food that others so desperately need.

Maybe during these 40 days, I'll think about that a little more.

The alcoholic in me

No, you didn't just discover a dark secret of mine. My friends will confirm: The closest I get to drunk is my one margarita a month (maybe two if I'm feeling feisty).

But I suffer an addiction just the same. And anyone who has read even one entry of this blog knows that addiction is to food.

So why the alcoholic comparison?

We all know alcoholics can get sober. But you only have to say the words "Charlie Sheen" to know they also suffer setbacks.

I was thinking about this as I heard Dr. Drew Pinsky (a la "Celebrity Rehab") talk about addiction and how it's so much harder for an addict when he relapses. The first time he sought help for drug or alcohol addiction, he learned all the tricks, all the rules, he followed the guidebook, fought his demons and came out sober. But the second time, he goes in knowing it all already. He thinks "I did it before and I'll do it again." Dr. Drew calls them "repeat rehabbers" and they're hard to wrangle.

I've often thought about my big weight-loss of 2003-2005 and have tried to re-create everything I did back then. But time after time, I fail. Why did I succeed back then but I can't now? I know all the tricks, all the rules. I know what's proper to eat, how best to use exercise, how important drinking water is, etc. And that, Dr. Drew might say, is the problem. I know too much. Or rather, I think I know it all.

As a "repeat rehabber," I need to be more careful. I need to treat this effort like I did back in 2003. Fresh. Open. Willing to take advice and seek help. And careful not to let my guard down.

Getting to the root of it

When I was a little girl, I always felt a sense of peace whenever I went to church. My family life wasn't pleasant, but those moments spent at St. Benedict helped me get through some tough times.

When I grew older, I started attending church by myself. Not regularly. But I'd come and go, arriving in the pew by myself, leaving by myself. In between, as I sat in God's house, I'd look at those around me, the older couples, the younger couples, the families. And though I was sad I was alone, I always held out a little hope that one day I wouldn't be sitting and praying alone, that I'd have someone by my side to share my faith with.

I've moved around a lot - from Pittsburgh to Jacksonville to Chapel Hill to Wilmington to Oak Island to Norfolk. And in every city, for the most part, I've sat and prayed and sang alone. When the priest would direct us to share the sign of peace, I had to stand still, head bowed for a second or so, while families and couples around me said "Peace be with you" to their own first. My dream was to have someone to say that to, a little hand to shake, a family.

It had been awhile since I'd been to church. I go a few times a year, mostly during the season of Lent. But now that I don't work Saturday nights, I decided to go last night. I've been feeling restless, distracted, and in a very selfish way, I hoped the Mass would give me a bit of peace in my heart. Some direction.

I wasn't prepared for what would happen.

As I sat in my pew, alone and up against the far right-hand wall, I looked around at the old couples, the young couples, the families. And my heart began to ache. For the very first time, I sat there knowing it's very likely I never will have that experience I had always wanted. No family around me, no little hand to shake, no husband to whisper "Peace be with you" to. I'm 36. I can no longer pretend there's plenty of time left for it to happen.

I don't know if that moment on Saturday night was the catalyst for what came, or if it was just meant to be because of who I am. But I would end up overeating. And skipping today's 12-mile run - which was to be the last long training run before my half marathon.

The emptiness was so loud, I could barely breathe, if that makes sense.

There are times I think I am hopeless and that I'm all alone in this struggle. Then, as I flipped channels on TV this weekend, I stumbled upon one of the Eddie Murphy "Nutty Professor" scenes. It was just one scene, but it was when he was working out, running up steps and taking an aerobics class. He was happy and enthused and ready to get that weight off (i.e. me, earlier this week). I turned the channel immediately after, because I remembered the scene that was to come: him being rejected and going home and eating everything in sight (i.e. me, this weekend).

I know I'm not alone. I know others (even fictional characters) struggle, too. With depression and weight and the way they feed off each other. So often, I hope that by writing about my own struggles, I'll figure something out. I'll dig deep enough that the wounds I'm trying so hard to fill with food begin to heal on their own.

I'm trying to get to that root of the problem. Perhaps a little too publicly. I don't know how wise that is. But if there's anyone out there who, after reading this, knows they're not alone, then it's worth it.

Peace be with you all.

The dance

I'm tuckered.

I've been pushing myself this week, harder than before, and all I can say is I can't wait for tomorrow - my rest day. Sunday was 11 miles; Tuesday was 3; Wednesday was a 2-hour workout, including spin class; Thursday was a 2-hour workout including PowerCut; today was a 1-hour spin class with no energy left to do much more.

The diet has gone well this week, though I must say I have been much hungrier with the extra exercise. I try to offset the hunger with water, apples, fiber of any kind, but sometimes I just have to suck it up and let myself be hungry. There's a lot of research out there that says that exercise can sabotage weight-loss because the more you exercise, the hungrier you are and the more you eat, which can negate the calories you burned exercising. I don't want to fall victim to that ... again. It's the reason I gained weight while training for a marathon. It's the reason I can exercise like a fiend and not lose an ounce.

Another thing I really need to watch: The half marathon is two weeks away. I CANNOT let myself get injured this close to the first half I'll have done in two years. There's been a slight twinge in my left knee, so I ice and try to not favor it during spin class. I hope I can be successful in my last long training run before the race; I need to do 12 miles on Sunday. Hopefully tomorrow's rest day will help these little legs heal from a very busy week.

It's such a dance, this weight-loss effort. Work out hard, but not so hard that you sideline yourself with injury. Work out hard, and eat enough that you have the energy to work out hard, but don't eat so much that the weight doesn't come off.

I've been dancing all my life, and it gets tiring. But I can't let myself sit this one out.

February recap

The exercise was great; the weight-loss, not so much.

The goals:
Lose 11.4 pounds (to make a total of 18 pounds)
Work out more than 10 days

How did I do?
Lost 3 pounds (to make a total of 9.6 pounds)
Worked out 14 days + 6 days of just walk breaks at work= 20 days

March goals
Unrealistic goal to keep me on track: 17.4 pounds
Realistic-ish goal: 9 pounds
Work out more than 12 days (or more than 9 days if you don't include at-work exercise breaks)

So, as you can see, I'm not on track, though I guess I haven't been since Jan. 1, huh? I'm proud of my exercise, though, and will just keep trying to avoid the emotional eating that has sabotaged my efforts.

Onward...