Where did May go?

Oh my gosh, I can't believe I haven't written in so long. I need a do-over for May. Seriously. The month is almost over and I don't have much to show for it.

May started great -- I was running before work and feeling awesome doing it. I even ran 6 miles on a Thursday, which I need to be doing more of (longer distances during the week). Then I ran a 10K in Jacksonville last Saturday. It wasn't my best, but it was still pretty good.

But this past week has wiped me out. I have come down with a chest cold -- a horrible cough that won't quit. I've still dragged myself out to do a mile during these days, but I'm telling you, I'm not sure it's been worth it. The mile has left me in a fit of coughs that takes awhile to recover from. I still need to go out and do today's. Hoping it will be better. But that will explain the string of 1-mile minimums below.

I'm now at 208 days straight of at least a mile.

But I'm super behind in my training. I'm supposed to be up to 13 miles, and the longest I've done is 10 -- a month ago. So here's hoping I can beat this cold and get back out there soon. I can't let this bring me down.

(P.S. I will say that as I walked around the track yesterday at dusk, at what must have been a 25-minute-mile pace, blowing my nose every few minutes, I thought to myself "Well, no one can say you give up easily!")

182 days until the MCM: 1 mile

181 days until the MCM: 1.5 miles

180 days until the MCM: 1 mile

179 days until the MCM: 1.5 miles

178 days until the MCM: 1.5 miles

177 days until the MCM: 1.5 miles

176 days until the MCM: 1+ 1 miles

175 days until the MCM: 3 miles

174 days until the MCM: 1.5 miles

173 days until the MCM: 3 miles

172 days until the MCM: 1.5 miles

171 days until the MCM: 2 miles

170 days until the MCM: 1 + 1 miles

169 days until the MCM: 3 miles

168 days until the MCM: 1 mile

167 days until the MCM: 3 miles

166 days until the MCM: 1 mile

165 days until the MCM: 6 miles

164 days until the MCM: 1 mile

163 days until the MCM: 6 miles

162 days until the MCM: 1 mile

161 days until the MCM: 1.5 miles

160 days until the MCM: 1 mile

159 days until the MCM: 1 mile 

158 days until the MCM: 1 mile

157 days until the MCM: 1 mile

156 days until the MCM: 1 mile

155 days until the MCM: 1 mile

Revelation

It hit me one day this week. I don't remember when it was or what caused the revelation, but once I had it, a sense of peace washed over me.

It's about the journey, not the destination.

(So perhaps this blog's name should really be "Journey to the Finish Line"?)

As you may know, I've been feeling anxious lately about the MCM: It's only six months away! I haven't lost enough weight! I haven't been able to maintain a 15-minute-mile pace for 10 miles, let alone 26.2! I can't do this! Why did I ever think I could do this?!

But then, this week, I remembered what I had always told people with regard to the Marine Corps Marathon: I want to do the race, yes, but I'm most looking forward to training for the race. Doing those long runs on the weekends. Taking those wonderful "I just ran 15 miles" naps. Feeling my body get stronger. Coming up with longer and longer playlists to get me through longer and longer runs.

Recently, after two beautiful 10-mile races, I found myself grumbling that I'm not fast enough and who am I kidding? But that's ridiculous. I should instead be thanking God that I am where I am, that I'm back on my feet and able to run/walk any distance at all. I should be out there absorbing the sun and embracing the day and feeling the accomplishment, no matter how small it may seem. If I'm not, then why am I doing this?

Worrying about my speed and my progress will only sully this journey. It's not like I'm not pushing myself. I am. And that's all I can do. The rest will come, or it won't, but it really shouldn't matter.

What does matter is this twisty and turn-y and exciting and unpredictable journey I'm on.

Bring it.