Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Put in My Place

In my quest to re-lose the weight I took off in 2003-2005, I've decided to document each week, comparing life now (first post) with life 10 years ago (second post). My hope is that I can find the momentum that carried me through those two years by looking at what worked for me then.

WEEK 2: 2013 
Beginning Weight: 264.6
Last week's weight: 256.6
This week's weight: 255.4
Week 2's weight loss: 1.2
Total weight loss: 9.2

I admit, I'm disappointed. When you weigh this much and then start eating massive amounts of fresh vegetables and only healthy, low-glycemic index foods, you just think, "Of course the weight will fall off." But it's not falling off. And this, my friends, is why I have a weight problem. I'm impatient and prone to giving up and giving in.


But it's funny that 2003 Diana (see below) came to the rescue this morning. After shouting "seriously? come on!" at the scale and prepping this blog post, I read 2003's Week 2. And was put in my place very quickly.

Because, yes, I've eaten very, very well this week, never once straying. But did I exercise enough? No. I fast-walked 5.3 miles on Sunday and did a 45-minute workout last night. But that's it. Compare that to 2003 me, who exercised five days that week.

And then there's this sentence I wrote 10 years ago in Week 2: "I fear those weeks when the scale doesn’t reflect my work – but I’m hoping to remain focused."

Did the scale reflect my work? Yeah, probably. Do I wish the weight-loss was more? Heck yeah. Do this week's results remind me to get moving more? Yep. Will I remain focused? Yes.

I admit there has been something holding me back from getting outside and walking/jogging/whatevering. I look horrible. I have few workout clothes that fit, and what does fit shows off bulges that disgust me. The time available for me to work out coincides with the beautiful D.C. crowd walking to the Metro. And when I picture myself outside huffing and puffing while looking like that, I just don't want to go.

Last night I somewhat overcame that fear by working out in my apartment building's gym. The people inside were all phenomenally fit (because, well, they work out). But I knew that if I continued to let fear stop me, I won't get where I need to be. So I went in. And worked out.

I felt great when I went to bed last night, having followed my diet, worked out (for the first time ever following a shift at work) and edited my goal number of pages. I felt so accomplished. I just knew I'd wake up at 8, ready to put my iPod on and head outside for a walk.

It's 8:49 and that hasn't happened yet. At this point, it probably won't.

I suppose I'm taking baby steps and have to forgive myself for not doing everything at once. But I also don't want to continue making excuses.

That will get me nowhere.

WEEK 2: 2003 
Beginning Weight: 317
Last week's weight: 310.2
This week's weight: 306
Week 2's weight loss: 4.2
Total weight loss: 11

I was pretty shocked at losing 4.2 pounds this week – though I never faltered on my eating plan and walked five days, I really thought it would be harder to lose in the second week. I fear those weeks when the scale doesn’t reflect my work – but I’m hoping to remain focused.

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