Tuesday, February 19, 2013

2013/2003: Week 5

In my quest to re-lose the weight I took off in 2003-2005, I've decided to document each week, comparing life now (first post) with life 10 years ago (second post). My hope is that I can find the momentum that carried me through those two years by looking at what worked for me then.

WEEK 5: 2013 
Beginning Weight: 264.6
Last week's weight: 252.6
This week's weight: 252.6
Week 5's weight loss: 0
Total weight loss: 12

I'm more than upset right now. Typically, when I don't lose weight or I gain, I can point to reasons why. I haven't exercised or I snacked more than I should have. But that's not the case here. Or is it? I did buy some nuts on Sunday and had a serving or two. And I probably had too many Diet Cokes last week and not enough water. And technically I only exercised three times since the last weigh-in (two 3-milers, one 6-miler).

Oh the second-guessing and frustration caused by the damn scale.

Furious and slapping together this blog post with angry typing fingers, I had to laugh (though it was the sarcastic laugh) when I saw the 2003 post.

Ah, perspective.

WEEK 5: 2003 
Beginning Weight: 317
Last week's weight: 298.4
This week's weight: 299.6
Week 5's weight loss: +1.2
Total weight loss: 17.4

Published: 03/11/2003
Yes, you’re reading that number right – I am 1.2 pounds heavier than last week. And believe me, seeing that weight gain written in ink on my chart was heartbreaking.

No, I didn’t eat pie or pizza or indulge in anything bad. I think that’s what made it feel worse.

No matter what I heard this week – reminders that there will always be weight fluctuations, that my body could be experiencing a plateau, that I had been losing too much and my body’s trying to hold on – I still felt like I had failed.

As a result, I didn’t walk. I entered that “why bother?” phase. I cursed my fat body in the mirror.

I know I’m doing good – the proof is in how my eating habits have changed, how the pizza man no longer makes weekly trips to my home, how I’m saving money by not stopping for take-out lunches, dinners, midnight snacks.

At the same time, I worry that this bump in the road will make me regress.

I’ve got to stop that from happening.

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