Dreamin' ... again

Yesterday was hard in terms of eating and keeping track of how many Points/calories I ate. Following a 5-mile walk (it was supposed to be a 10-mile run but the shin was hurting), Greg and I had lunch at Ruby Tuesday's. I didn't think to look on its Web site beforehand b/c for some reason I thought they had a "light" section. Wrong. So I chose as best as I could: an Asian spinach salmon salad with fresh spinach, cucumber, edamame, grilled salmon and black beans. There also were fried wonton strips but I didn't eat them. In my head, I thought, maybe 7-8 points? When I got home and checked the restaurant Web site, it turned out my meal was like 12 points (660-some calories, 20-some grams of fat). I would hope that it is much less b/c I didn't eat the half-cup-worth of wontons, but who knows.

Then for dinner, we had sushi. I got a lot, probably too much, reasoning that it's pretty light fare. Raw salmon, tuna, shrimp and rice. But, again, who knows.

I didn't eat much else the rest of the day. But I went to bed full of sushi and wondering if I overindulged. Then...I dreamed.

I dreamed I ate all of my sushi and then devoured an entire large pizza. I dreamed of the shame I felt as I closed the lid and wondered if everyone was looking at me and not believing how much I had eaten.

Sigh.

In other news, I bought a digital scale today. I had a hard time finding the right one, but with help from my lovely sister and brother-in-law on the phone, we narrowed it down. I'll let you know how it goes; none of the scales that rated high in Consumer Reports were at the Target...but this brand (Tanita) seemed good. It also gives body fat and the like, and between that and the knowledge that it will be more accurate than my dial scale, I'm a little frightened of weighing in tomorrow. My goal for this Tuesday (according to my calendar mapping out a hoped-for 2-pound loss a week) is 202, and I just don't think that's going to be the case. I don't want to get upset. But I'm sure whatever the number says, if it's higher than that, I'll be pretty bummed.

I should, instead, be proud of what I've resisted on this trip. The french fry Greg offered me; the homemade pizzelles I made for him AT CHRISTMAS in his cabinet; the chips and chocolates in his kitchen. All avoided, with little effort.

But you know me. Ms. I-want-the-weight-to-come-off-faster. I'm working on being a little more patient...